


we are the lost & the found

by moonlitprincess



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Football | Soccer, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-03
Updated: 2016-06-05
Packaged: 2018-06-06 01:49:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,072
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6733093
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonlitprincess/pseuds/moonlitprincess
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bellamy steals another glance at the stands, and as if on cue, Clarke’s gaze falls onto him. The sadness and gut wrenching pain in her eyes makes Bellamy feel almost as sick as he did when Jackson delivered the news about Jake to the team three days ago, but he can’t bear to look away from her. Then, to his surprise, Clarke’s lips curve upwards into a familiar crooked smile and Bellamy sees her mouth ‘Good luck’.</p><p>OR</p><p>The college soccer au that nobody asked for</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. prologue

**Author's Note:**

> I'm pretty sure I would walk through hell and high water for this au, I am stupidly invested in it so I rlly hope you guys all like it
> 
> P.S. - NSCL: national soccer college league aka my made up league for this au
> 
> P.P.S - chapters will alternate between bellamy's pov and clarke's pov

This one feels different.

He wishes it didn’t, wishes with his whole heart that it’s a bad dream brought on by pre-game nerves and that he’s going to wake with a start, drenched in a cold sweat but the heaviness in his chest will have disappeared and everything will feel the way it’s supposed to. 

It doesn’t. 

It’s not a bad dream. He’s not going to wake up. And the weight he feels on his shoulders is more than just about playing in a National Soccer College League final. 

Bellamy Blake glances at his team’s bench, eyes lingering on the spot where Jake should’ve been sitting, blonde hair ruffled and mouth upturned in a crooked smile as he flicked through team plays and scoring averages in his binder. But Jake isn’t there. Marcus Kane is instead, looking tired and anxious and talking quietly to assistant coach Jackson, who’s briefing him on the team and the various players on the field. Bellamy’s stomach flips. How the hell is this even happening? 

‘I know what you’re thinking,’ says Miller, jogging up to him. ‘They should postpone the game.’ 

‘Damn right they should,’ growls Bellamy.

‘The Mount Weather coach made a huge big commotion about how it was unfair on his team to postpone and if we were professionals, we should be able to play despite the circumstances.’ Miller looks murderous as he says it.

Bellamy’s eyes darken and he struggles to keep his voice level when he hisses ‘ _We don’t have a fucking coach_!’ 

He catches the attention of Lincoln and Murphy who make their way over too. They don’t have to ask what they’re talking about. 

‘I can’t believe those stupid pricks insisted we play,’ mutters Murphy, shoving his hands in his shorts pockets. ‘We should’ve fought harder against them.’ 

‘They’ve got all the money in the world and fund half the league,’ Lincoln points out. ‘Us arguing wouldn’t have done jack.’ 

‘We’ve just gotta suck it up and do it,’ says Bellamy firmly, shaking his head. ‘We play our hearts out just like Jake always taught us. We use our heads, we play smart, we look out for each other and we win for _him._ Got it?’ 

The other three boys nod and the group of four split, each moving to a different position on the field to continue warming up. The crowd is already buzzing, the excitement crackling in the air like electricity. The lights of the stadium are beginning to flicker on as the sun drifts lower onto the horizon and Bellamy lets his gaze wander a little, the stands a blur of turquoise and red as thousands fill the seats to watch the much anticipated game between Mount Weather College and Arkadia University. 

The final of the NSCL season. 

Bellamy nervously rubs dirt out of a patch on his ruby coloured uniform, eyes suddenly catching sixteen identical uniforms worn in support by people seated in the prime location on the Arkadia side of the stadium. There’s a flash of golden hair being tossed over somebody’s shoulder, and without even realising, Bellamy finds himself staring at Clarke Griffin. 

It’s not the first time he’s noticed her watching one of his games — hell, he’s watched most of hers since she joined the Arkadia University women’s team this year, but just like everything else about tonight, this is different. Usually, she’s got a wide smile on her face, sometimes holding up a GO AU BOYS sign, laughing and joking with her teammates. Once the game starts, she tends to pay close attention to what’s happening, easily following the movements and plays happening on the field and cheering herself hoarse by the end of the game. But this time, she’s not smiling. There’s no sign in her hands, no excitement in her expression. Even from the field, Bellamy can see the dark circles under her eyes and the pale colour to her skin and he spots her best friend Raven (also on the women’s team) clutching Clarke’s hand tightly. 

Bellamy knows that it’ll sound as awful out loud as it does in his head, but part of him is glad that the AU girls team lost their match against Killian College the week before. The boys team’s suffering is bad enough with Jake’s death, and he was just their coach. Clarke is one of the best players on the girls team and Bellamy highly doubts she’d’ve even played the final after her father’s death (if they’d qualified).

From the goal, Wells kicks the ball over in Bellamy’s direction to get another warm up exercise going, and Bellamy shakes his head in slightly bitter amusement at how strange it feels to be thinking of Clarke without hating her. They’d been at each other’s throats from the moment she came to AU, and it certainly hadn’t helped that the boys and girls Division I teams spent almost every waking moment together, traveling the country for NSCL games over the course of the season. Clarke and Bellamy butted heads on almost everything, arguing constantly, their conversations consisting almost completely of sarcasm and snark. The only thing they could ever agree on was soccer. (Just because Bellamy hates her, it doesn’t mean he doesn’t respect her. She’s a damn good player, he’s man enough to admit that). 

He offloads the ball to Atom who swiftly passes it to Finn. Finn to Murphy, Murphy to Miller, Miller to Lincoln, Lincoln to Max, Max to Keenan, Keenan to Quinn, Quinn to Bellamy and then Bellamy booting it back to Wells, who catches it easily. 

Bellamy steals another glance at the stands, and as if on cue, Clarke’s gaze falls onto him. The sadness and gut wrenching pain in her eyes makes Bellamy feel almost as sick as he did when Jackson delivered the news to the team three days ago, but he can’t bear to look away from her. Then, to his surprise, Clarke’s lips curve upwards into a familiar crooked smile and Bellamy sees her mouth ‘Good luck’. 

He nods just as Lincoln claps him on the shoulder and points to the referee, who’s calling all the players into position. Bellamy gulps, wiping his sweaty palms on his shorts and scuffing his cleats in the grass a little before jogging to the centre of the pitch. With a tight smile, he shakes hands with Cage Wallace and tries to switch himself into game mode. It doesn’t work. His mind is whirring, he can’t get Clarke’s heartbroken blue eyes and crooked smile out of her head, the same blue eyes and crooked smile as Jake. Jake who had taught Bellamy every play he’d used in the past two years. 

Bellamy can’t stop replaying the sound of Jackson’s shaky voice echoing through the locker room on Wednesday — ‘ _Guys. There’s been an accident.’_ , can’t forget the blood curdling, heart wrenching scream from the girls locker room next door moments later, can’t erase what he’d seen when he and the other boys had rushed into the room to see what was going on only to find Clarke’s entire body wracked with sobs as she crumpled to the floor, Raven and Lexa on either side of her both looking stunned and shaken. Clarke had cried so hard she’d thrown up. Both teams spent the night in the sports common room, drunk and quiet and angry. It had been like something out of a nightmare.

He glances nervously to his left to see Miller and Quinn looking as uneasy as he feels and for the first time in his entire life, Bellamy wishes that he didn’t have to play. But he _does_ , this is the NSCL final for crying out loud. This is what he’s been waiting for since his high school coach said that he had the talent to play Division I college soccer. But then again, no-one ever warned him about this kind of situation. No-one told him he’d have to play an NSCL final three days after his coach was killed in a car accident. No-one told him that the Mount Weather team was so well connected that even a postponement of the match was out of the question. 

Bellamy grits his teeth as Cage smirks. 

‘Guess your surrogate daddy’s not here to spoon feed you the _how to play soccer_ manual anymore, huh Blake?’ he says, just quietly enough so the ref won’t hear. 

Miller and Murphy are both close and have enough common sense to grab Bellamy before he launches himself at Cage in fury. 

‘Let it go Bell,’ mutters Miller but he sounds even more angry than he had earlier. 

‘Yeah, if you start having a go at them then I won’t have any reason not to,’ adds Murphy through his teeth. 

Bellamy lets out a snarl before shaking his arms free. ‘It’s okay,’ he says in response to the other two boys’ wary looks. ‘Let’s just play some damn soccer.’ 

This, the referee hears and he nods in agreement. Time seems to slow a little in the next few moments: Cage and Bellamy step up to the centre line, the crowd roars enthusiastically, the stadium lights flare brightly when the last of the evening sun disappears beyond the horizon. Bellamy lets out a shaky breath as the referee tosses a coin into the air, asking him and Cage what they call. 

‘Heads,’ says Bellamy, crossing his fingers. 

The coin toss isn’t the only thing they lose in the ninety minutes that follow.


	2. all in

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Soon enough though, his eyes softened a little and his smile faded. ‘Clarke, I’m so sorry.’ 
> 
> Her gaze dropped to the ground as the tears came back in full force. ‘Yeah. Thanks Bellamy.’ 
> 
> That’s when he pulled her into a tight hug, one that she stumbled into in surprise, latching her arms around his neck and letting him encircle her waist as he exhaled shakily into her hair. 
> 
> ‘He loved you a lot,’ he murmured. ‘Talked about you all the time. He was so proud of you.’ 
> 
> Clarke clutched him tighter, her stomach flipping at his words. ‘He loved you too you know,’ she managed to whisper. ‘He said you were one of the best players he’d seen in years. That you were gonna go really far.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yoooooo I love you guys! Thanks heaps for being so supportive, sending a whole lotta cyber hugs your way XX And just because you guys have been so super fab, here's chapter two literally midnight of the day after I posted chapter one. 
> 
> I just wanna point out before this chapter though that I rlly dislike ship wars / ship hate (you all know which two ships I'm talking about k). I'm portraying lexa faaaairly differently than the show, her character is a lot more like alycia just because that's what works for this story (the "commander" side of lexa will probably be more present on the soccer field). Clarke x lexa's past relationship won't have a huuuge role in this story but their ongoing friendship will so just because this is a bellarke story, there won't be any purposeful other ship hate (unless it's in character, i.e. clarke still being hurt over her/finn/raven thing etc)
> 
> Anyway that's all don't wanna get too heavy on that kind of stuff! There's a few more characters introduced here and a little bit of background / flashback stuff so here you gooooo

‘You good?’

 

Nineteen year old Clarke Griffin glances over her shoulder to see her best friend, Raven Reyes watching her carefully with uncertain eyes. Clarke laughs, letting her bag drop from her shoulder onto the bench before them. 

‘I’m fine Raven,’ she says firmly. ‘It’s not like I haven’t been playing over the last few months.’ 

‘I know,’ says Raven with a shrug. ‘But you haven’t been playing _here._ This is your dad’s home field. I just wanna make sure …’ 

‘I’m okay,’ says Clarke but there’s a catch in her voice this time as she says it. She knows Raven hears it and lets out a shaky sigh. ‘It’s a little weird,’ she admits after a moment’s pause. ‘I keep looking around and expecting him to be running the length of the field, orchestrating plays, yelling instructions at the boys, cheering when something goes right. It’s like there’s this … I dunno … _emptiness._ It was easier back home because even though there were photos and clothes and stuff everywhere, it wasn’t me and Dad’s _place._ This was.’ 

Raven nods in understanding, and Clarke’s glad she doesn’t feel the need to reply with some meaningful _it’ll be okay_ speech. She’s heard enough of those to last a lifetime. 

‘Hey thing one, thing two!’ calls another voice chirpily that makes both Raven and Clarke smirk. 

‘You fucking weirdo,’ says Raven affectionately with a shake of her head. 

‘Hey Lexa,’ smiles Clarke, giving the curly haired brunette a tight hug as she reaches them. There’s a sort of calm that washes over Clarke once Lexa joins them — a weird hum of familiarity and comfort that had vanished the moment she’d found out about her dad’s death. Clarke knows that her friendships with both Lexa and Raven should realistically be a lot more messed up than they are, but somehow, they’ve become two of the most important people in her life.

She and Raven have been best friends since freshman year even though the circumstances which caused them to meet, in normal cases, probably would have made them worst enemies: Clarke had started dating Finn Collins a few weeks into first semester at AU. They’d been perfectly matched for each other, agreed on almost everything, all was well, until Raven Reyes transferred to AU to surprise her high school sweetheart who turned out to be none other than Finn. They’d both dumped him immediately and bonded over their anger at his lies and cheating. Instant long lasting friendship created. 

Lexa, on the other hand, had been Clarke’s girlfriend for most of freshman year. They’d met through the Division I women’s team and dated for almost the entire season. They’d ended things a couple of weeks before the Killian College semi final match, both their lives proving far too hectic for any kind of relationship. The fortnight that had followed had been filled with awkward silences, small, insignificant arguments and a icy tension that almost physically crackled between them. They’d even ended up having a discussion about whether one of them would drop out of the team the following year for the team’s overall benefit, considering how difficult it was for them to be around each other. But all of those contemplations and post relationship frustrations had evaporated when Marcus Kane had sat the team down in the locker rooms three days before the boys’ final against Mount Weather and looked directly at Clarke, saying with a trembling voice ‘Clarke, your dad’s been in an accident.’ 

When Clarke had crumpled to the floor after Kane choked out ‘He … he didn’t make it, Clarke.’, Raven and Lexa had been the ones to completely instinctively drop down beside her and comfort her as she cried. 

It’s the only positive Clarke can find in what happened to her father — that she truly found her two best friends.

‘I’m excited to see which freshmen are trying out,’ says Lexa as she breaks away from Clarke, shoving her hands in her pockets. ‘I hear Bellamy Blake’s little sister is — that should be interesting.’ 

‘If she’s anything like him, it’ll be a nightmare,’ mutters Clarke. 

‘If she’s anything like him, she’ll be on the team in a heartbeat,’ corrects Raven. ‘Bellamy might be an ass but he’s one of the best players on the boys team.’ 

‘And he hasn’t even been that much of an ass lately,’ adds Lexa. ‘Not since …’ She trails off, suddenly realising what she was about to say, eyes flickering to Clarke worriedly. 

‘Guys, it’s not some kind of taboo,’ says Clarke, a little frustrated. ‘It was months ago, okay? My dad got run off the road and died in a car accident. There. It happened. It hurts and I wish I had a time machine but I don’t and I can’t do anything about it, okay? So if you wanna talk about it, go for it — it might help all of us.’ 

‘As long as it’s not gonna be worse for you if we do,’ says Lexa softly. ‘I mean, Clarke — he was your dad.’ 

‘He was like a dad for everyone involved in soccer at AU,’ says Clarke, her voice both sad and reminiscent, and inexplicably, she finds herself looking over at Bellamy. His hair has grown out a little since the end of last season and he stands on the field with a little more authority as he chats with Lincoln and Miller, snorting with laughter over something Miller’s saying. 

Clarke blinks, realising how strange it is to be looking over at Bellamy Blake without the familiar irritation and hatred bubbling up inside her. In fact, the usual ‘Bellamy feelings’ have been absent ever since Jake’s death. Flopping down onto the bench to switch from her trainers to her soccer boots, Clarke’s thoughts shift to the nightmarish two weeks at the end of the last season. The girls had lost against Killian College in a sudden death shootout in overtime, and though they’d been disappointed, they found themselves sharing the boys’ excitement for the final against Mount Weather. The MW girls team hadn’t made it to the finals either, so there was no guilt or seething anger in not claiming the girls’ division title for the year. The boys on the other hand were crowd favourites to kick some MW ass in the final and walk away with the season’s trophy.

Clarke yanks her laces tighter, grimacing bitterly. 

_Three days._ The boys had been expected to play an NSCL final _three days_ after the death of their coach. Everyone at AU knew Mount Weather were dicks — rich, entitled, racist, used to getting what they want — but this went way beyond that. 

The AU team had lost, unsurprisingly, but not by much. For a while they were in the lead but Cage Wallace had discovered the secret to throwing his opposition off their game was to taunt them about their dead coach, something that flipped a switch in almost all of the AU boys and led them to make sloppy, anger driven mistakes. They lost by two goals in the last five minutes. 

That, however, hadn’t been the worst part of those two weeks. The funeral had been a million times worse.

The church was packed — packed with ex-players, teachers, students, friends, old teammates, family… 

Clarke doesn’t remember much of it, just that it was a blur of tears and a sharp, distinct ache in her chest every time the reality of the situation hit her. She _does_ however remember every single boy from the AU team coming over and giving her huge, big brother bear hugs that somehow eased the heaviness around her heart a little. Bellamy had gone last, a sad smile on his face as he awkwardly hovered in front of her, hands in his suit pocket and eyes red from crying. 

‘Don’t you look dapper,’ Clarke had smirked, trying to sound as mocking and blunt as usual but instead her voice came out hoarse and croaky. 

‘You’re just saying that ‘cos you only ever see me in that ugly ass red uniform covered in sweat and dirt,’ replied Bellamy, ‘I mean, I didn’t even recognise you. Clarke Griffin, owning a dress? I though it was all Nike shorts, Adidas tops and David Beckham replica uniforms.’ 

That actually made her laugh because it was total bullshit. He’d seen her when she and the girls went clubbing, he’d seen her go shopping with Raven and he’d seen her dressed very unsportsmanlike in plain old fashioned jeans and one of her dad’s old sweaters. But he’d made a lame attempt at a joke and it worked in lightening the mood.

Soon enough though, his eyes softened a little and his smile faded. ‘Clarke, I’m so sorry.’ 

Her gaze dropped to the ground as the tears came back in full force. ‘Yeah. Thanks Bellamy.’ 

That’s when he pulled her into a tight hug, one that she stumbled into in surprise, latching her arms around his neck and letting him encircle her waist as he exhaled shakily into her hair. 

‘He loved you a lot,’ he murmured. ‘Talked about you all the time. He was so proud of you.’ 

Clarke clutched him tighter, her stomach flipping at his words. ‘He loved you too you know,’ she managed to whisper. ‘He said you were one of the best players he’d seen in years. That you were gonna go really far.’ 

That’s when Bellamy had pulled away, blinking fiercely and staring at her in shock before giving her a curt nod and hurrying over to his teammates. 

‘Come on ladies,’ says Kane, snapping Clarke out of the memory and tossing her a ball which she catches easily and places by her bag. ‘Start setting up the drills and exercises. The new girls trying out will be arriving in about twenty minutes.’ He sits on the bench in front of Clarke, pulling her left boot out of her hands before she can shove her foot into it. 

‘Kane, my ankle’s fine,’ she tries to argue but he gives her a stern look to silence her. 

‘I already talked to your mom,’ he says, ‘and she told me that you’re good to play but you’re going to have to be careful. None of those feisty, dangerous tackles you’re known for. You’re gonna work with me on playing clever rather than fierce. It’s hard enough that we’ve lost Kel and Marise from the team now that they’ve graduated, I can’t bear to lose you to an injury like this okay?’ 

Clarke lets the air whistle past her lips, roughly pushing some hair off her face. ‘Okay,’ she gives in, sighing in resignation. ‘I’ll pull back a bit.’ 

He nods. ‘Good girl.’ The barely there smile that’s a Marcus Kane trademark fades as thoughts of the same person cross both his and Clarke’s minds. Clarke looks down, a lump building in her throat. She’s known Kane her whole life — he and Jake had been best friends and she can see the same crippling grief in his eyes that are present in her mother’s as well. Thankfully, neither of them bring up the dreaded topic of Jake’s death, both knowing it’s too painful for either of them to talk about with each other.

Kane gets up to talk to the new assistant coach (Clarke thinks he’s called Titus, or something), tossing the boot back into Clarke’s lap. She pulls it on with a little less force than she had for her other foot, tying the laces a little looser and checking she’s wearing thicker socks on that leg. 

The injury hadn’t been too bad when it happened — Clarke had missed one game before getting back into the swing of things — but her mother had warned her that it could come back and bite her in the ass at the worst of times, and had the potential to end her soccer career entirely if she didn’t keep it in the back of her mind while playing. 

She cracks her knuckles as though it will somehow diffuse the worry and lingering thoughts of Jake out of her mind (it doesn’t), before getting to her feet and grabbing the ball Kane had given her, jogging onto the field to join Lexa and Raven who’re already setting up cones to mark out tryout drills. Most of the rest of the team have arrived too, getting changed, talking, discussing what happened in the off-season. 

Clarke does a quick count and realises with a start that the newbies trying out are going to have a lot of competition this year — only two free places on the team. She knows a lot of schools in the league make all team members re-try for a spot on the team every year but AU instead lets girls remain on the team until they graduate, want to leave or are forced to be taken off the team for whatever reason. Of course, places aren’t guaranteed — if someone tries out that’s better than you are, they get your spot, but AU’s policy is that you get to remain on the team as a sub, hopefully getting an equal amount of playing time. 

Clarke half grimaces, half smiles. That had been a Jake Griffin implemented policy.

‘I heard Mount Weather’s gunning for the trophy this year,’ says Harper, appearing out of nowhere beside Clarke and snapping her attention, once again, back to the present.

‘Fuck them,’ says Raven viciously. ‘No way in hell.’ 

‘Amen,’ Maya chimes in. ‘You have no idea how unbearable it was to have to go back there over the break — they were _insufferable_ about the fact that we hadn’t won. I kept having to remind them that they didn’t even make it to semi finals.’ 

(Maya had transferred from Mount Weather University to Arkadia College a few weeks into the season the previous year. She’d grown up with most of the residents of MW but deeply despised them, instead choosing to give AU a shot.)

’Certainly didn’t help that their boys team beat ours though,’ Monroe points out, resting her arm on Harper’s shoulder as she joins the conversation. ‘That gives them leverage over us.’ 

‘Not this year,’ says a deep voice behind the now fairly large cluster of girls, and they all turn to see Bellamy, Miller, Lincoln and Wells moving towards them. Bellamy had been the one to speak. 

‘We are definitely taking that title this season,’ says Lincoln firmly. 

‘Ditto,’ says another girls’ team player — Anya — with a nod. ‘Mount Weather can get fucked, there’s no way we’re letting those assholes parade around with that trophy.’ 

The corners of Bellamy’s mouth lift in a smirk as he surveys the group of girls in front of him ‘How about a deal then?’ he suggests. ‘It’s gonna be a hard season with — ’ He pauses, ‘ — the coaching changes. We should agree that no matter what happens with head or assistant coaches or the changes in the Sports Department, both of our teams will help each other out when it comes to training so we can kick some MW ass.’ 

‘Hear hear,’ says Raven. ‘I’m in.’ 

‘In,’ say Harper and Monroe simultaneously.

‘Definitely in,’ adds Miller gruffly. 

‘In,’ Anya says. 

‘All in,’ says Lincoln with a grin.

‘Same here,’ beams Maya. 

‘You know I’m in,’ says Wells, smiling widely. 

‘Clarke?’ asks Bellamy, glancing towards her with a raised eyebrow. ‘We help you, you help us, we back each other up for the season, just like Jake always wanted. You in?’

‘What’re we in for?’ asks another girl (Indra, captain of the team), wandering over to the crowd with her hands in her shorts pockets. 

‘Well?’ asks Bellamy promptly to Clarke. ‘What do you say, Princess?’ 

‘AU are gonna be champions this year,’ says Clarke, eyes blazing with determination. ‘We’ll get Mount Weather back for beating you guys last year _and_ show them what our team is capable of.’ 

Indra cracks a rare smile.

‘Blood must have blood,’ Anya agrees.

Wells raises an eyebrow at that, glancing at Anya with hesitance and letting his gaze flicker to Clarke for explanation, to which Clarke has none, replying to her childhood best friend’s questioning look with an equally confused shrug that Indra notices. 

‘It sounds archaic and like it’s from the goddamn Crusades but it’s actually an old Arkadia University motivational sports slogan,’ she explains. ‘Which you guys would know if you read the plaque on the history of AU sports that’s up in the gymnasium.’ 

‘Well, let’s go along the correct assumption that we’re all not that dedicated,’ mutters Bellamy dryly. ‘What does it mean?’ 

‘It means that when we get knocked down, we get back up,’ Lincoln provides before Anya and Indra can speak. ‘We keep fighting, we prove ourselves even when we’re at the bottom.’ 

‘Mount Weather knocked us down last year,’ continues Anya. ‘So now — ’

‘It’s payback time,’ interrupts Miller, his grin feral. 

Everyone laughs at that but there’s a blazing fire in all of their eyes as they take in their home field and their teammates around them. Clarke looks over at Raven who nudges her with a small smile and a _you okay?_ expression on her face. Clarke smiles back, the smile saying _yeah. yeah i’m good._ It’s just a game, she knows, but somehow, the bright red of her uniform that glistens in the September sun is like armour, the fierceness of the circle of people standing before her is like a surge of adrenalin, and Clarke feels as though she’s about to march into battle with the world’s strongest army by her side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You are all beautiful human beings & ily (but I will love you even more if you leave comments & kudos X hehe)


	3. tryouts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Raven’s ‘What the fuck just happened?’ is so loud that Bellamy can hear it from the bench, but anything else is drowned out by the boys’ team’s impressed cheers (Monty and Jasper’s louder than anyone’s). Bellamy watches Clarke punch her first into the air with a crow of triumph before pulling Octavia into a breathless, sweaty hug, and the beam that graces Octavia’s face is more overjoyed than Bellamy has seen her since before their mother died. The pride inside him is swelling so rapidly, he thinks his heart might burst.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wee bit of a wait on this one, the other two were basically already written when I posted this but this chapter I actually had to write from scratch! I'll update as often as possible, especially in the next five weeks because I'm going overseas then. And yo, totally feel free to like, request stuff you might want in this story, request ships you might want to see whether in the past or in the present, or characters you might want to make an appearance or anything like that! 
> 
> Thanks for being so supportive and positive, you're all extremely lovely and I'm very grateful X
> 
> P.S. you finally get to meet octavia!!

Bellamy’s seen Octavia nervous before — hell, he raised her. He was there to watch her pace the length of their living room waiting for her prom date to arrive, he was there when she was having a nervous breakdown over her SATs, he was there watching her hands shake as she tried to give herself the nerve to deliver their mother’s eulogy. But never in Octavia’s eighteen years has he seen her as anxious and terrified as she is in this moment. 

‘I think I’m gonna be sick,’ she whispers, bouncing her right knee subconsciously as the two of them sit on the front bench of the bleachers. 

‘You’ll be fine O,’ says Bellamy, knowing better than to chuckle at the comically terrified expression on her face. Instead, he reaches out and puts a hand on her thigh to stop its tremors, giving it a small squeeze. ‘I believe in you.’ 

‘What if I’m not good enough?’ she asks in a small voice. ‘What if I don’t get in?’ 

Bellamy’s startled by how young she looks as she stares at him, hair pinned back and in a high ponytail he hasn’t seen since the beginning of high school, eyes wide, teeth worrying her bottom lip, hands wrung together in her lap. He feels a familiar surge of protectiveness rise in his chest and he _wishes_ he could control this, give his baby sister exactly what she wants. But both the Blakes have learned that they’ll always have to work for what they want, nobody’s ever going to hand it away. Not to them anyway. But Bellamy also knows that Octavia _has_ worked hard for this.

‘ _Fuck_ me I’m not going to get it, this is such a stupid idea!’ she mutters, rubbing her eyes frantically. 

‘O, you watched every single game the women’s team played last year and predicted half their plays before they even happened,’ Bellamy interrupts, arching an eyebrow. ‘You became captain of your high school team in junior year. You’ve been playing longer than I have. Of course you’ll get on the team’ 

‘But Bell, there are only two spaces — ’

‘And someone’s gotta fill them, right?’ 

Octavia doesn’t reply to that, sighing and letting her head fall into her hands. ‘I _want_ this,’ she murmurs, barely audible. 

‘I know you do,’ Bellamy answers, equally quiet. ‘So _play_ like you want it. You’re good, you know what you’re doing. Just have faith in that, okay?’ 

He sees her nod imperceptibly into her hands before a whistling breath rattles past her lips and she jumps to her feet. Bellamy doesn’t offer her anymore advice, knowing that she’s put herself in the mind space she needs to be in, and he doesn’t want to break that. Instead, he stands up beside her and presses a kiss to the side of her head before jogging over to Lincoln who’s kicking a ball around with Wells to pass time. 

‘That your sister?’ asks Wells, nodding in Octavia’s direction. 

‘Yeah,’ says Bellamy, running his fingers through his hair as he traps the ball that gets booted his way. ‘Freshman this year.’ 

‘She good?’ 

‘I think she’s better than me if I’m honest,’ confesses Bellamy with a soft chuckle. He glances over at Lincoln, who’s been strangely silent since he came over. Bellamy notices his friend’s eyes flickering between him and Octavia with a glint of confusion in them until he notices Bellamy’s staring and looks immediately sheepish. 

‘Sorry,’ he says with a small grin. ‘I just couldn’t help but notice that you guys look a little different. I mean, I can see lots of similarities — ’

‘We have different dads,’ Bellamy clarifies. ‘Nice spotting, most people don’t really notice.’ He lets the ball roll under his foot before flicking it up into the air, bouncing it off his knee and kicking it to Lincoln. 

‘Either of your dads still alive?’ asks Wells curiously. 

Bellamy shrugs. ‘I wouldn’t know. Both mine and Octavia’s cleared off before either of us were born.’ 

‘Shit, that’s harsh,’ says Lincoln, an apologetic expression crossing his face. 

‘Nah, it’s alright,’ says Bellamy with a shake of his head. ‘It was hard but our Mom looked after us and we always had each other. That’s all we ever needed.’ He grins to himself. ‘That, and soccer,’ he adds and the other two boys laugh. 

‘ _Bellamy! Lincoln!_ ’ 

Both boys in question’s heads snap over to the direction of the voice, their eyes resting on their assistant coach, Jackson, who’s standing by the boys’ bench with Jake’s binder in his hands and a clipboard containing the names of all the boys trying out. Bellamy hurries over, side by side with Lincoln and they come to a stop in front of Jackson with curious eyes and concerned smiles. 

‘Everything okay?’ asks Lincoln. 

‘What’s up Coach?’ Bellamy says. 

Jackson smiles wryly. ‘I’ve been made Head Coach of the boys team this year,’ he explains. 

‘Hey! Congratulations!’ says Lincoln with a wide smile. ‘I mean, obviously we wish it was under better circumstances, but still. We’re glad it’s you and not someone we don’t know.’ 

‘Well,’ Jackson continues, carefully placing his binder down on the bench. ‘As Coach, I’m letting you both know now that I’ll be choosing one of you to be team captain this season.’ 

Bellamy almost chokes on his own breath, eyebrows shooting upwards. _Captain?_ Of an _NSCL team_? And holy crap, he’s only a _junior_! 

‘I’m not trying to make it a competition between you both,’ Jackson adds quickly. 

‘No, of course not!’ says Bellamy, glancing over at Lincoln who’s nodding in agreement. ‘I’d be more than happy if Lincoln was captain — I respect the hell outta him.’ 

‘Yeah, I’d be thrilled if Bell got it,’ Lincoln says. ‘Whoever you choose, we’d follow them.’ 

Jackson beams and then laughs softly. ‘You boys are too noble for your own good, you’re gonna make this a pain in the ass of a choice.’ He claps them both on their outside shoulders. ‘I want you guys to help me with these tryouts, okay? Keep an eye on the new boys, tell me who you think would cut it and who wouldn’t. We’ll put together the final list together, yeah?’ 

‘Really?’ says Bellamy, surprised. 

The man in front of him — only three or four years older — sighs heavily and takes off his red _Ark University Panthers_ hat, curling and uncurling it in mud smudged hands. 

‘This season is gonna be hard,’ he says, quieter than before. ‘Jake had been Head of the AU Sports Department for fifteen years. Now even though Marcus Kane is taking over that position, I’ve still got the job of coaching the best college boys team I’ve ever seen and I’m not saying I can’t do it but I’m saying that I can’t do it alone. Now apart from Miller and Murphy, you two are the most senior guys on this team and even more than that, you were two of Jake’s favourites. I’m gonna need the way you guys think this season and the way you knew Jake’s plays from the field side of things. So this year, this team is yours as much as it is mine, okay?’ 

A knot that’s been twisted in Bellamy’s chest since that dreaded night at the end of last season untangles just a little and he feels like he can suddenly breathe again. 

‘Deal,’ he and Lincoln say at the same time, shooting each other grins moments afterward. 

Bellamy keeps his attention away from Octavia for the rest of the afternoon. He knows that him watching her like a hawk, carefully eyeing for any slip ups, isn’t going to help her in the slightest so he stays focused on his own task at hand — surveying his own possible teammates. Their team has a few more spots available than the girls team seeing as a large chunk had graduated at the end of last season or not been able to return after the tragedy of Jake’s death. There’s a few people who are just there for shits and gigs, wanting to hang out with the infamous AU soccer stars. 

(Bellamy can see on the other side of the field, there are plenty of girls who’re around with the pretense of trying out but instead just want to ogle at the boys team.)

(He can also see Clarke getting increasingly frustrated with them and he wouldn’t be averse to seeing her punch one of them in the face because their giggles are starting to piss him off as well.) 

(He also ignores the nagging question in his mind, the one that goes _when did she go from ‘Princess’ to ‘Clarke’?_ He ignores it mainly because he knows it will spiral into a series of more questions like _Actually, when did she go from ‘Griffin’ to ‘Princess’? When did ‘Princess’ stop being an insult? When did you first call her ‘Clarke’? When did you stop hating her? Did you ever hate her to begin with?_ )

Bellamy finds his focus drawn to a couple of boys trying out in particular — 

There’s a duo trying out for left and right wing who work _seamlessly_ together, the ball soaring across the field in passes with pin point accuracy. They slot themselves into plays without difficulty and Bellamy sees Miller pull off an offensive play that’s tripped him up for three years, simply because the right wing, Monty, held onto the ball long enough to give Miller a clear path to the goal. 

‘Hey,’ says Bellamy, approaching them as the tryouts wind down and they’re gulping down water. 

‘Bellamy Blake, right?’ says Monty, eyes wide. ‘You’re one of the most amazing college players I’ve ever seen!’ 

‘Yeah, you scored the most goals out of all men in the NSCL season last year!’ adds the other kid, Jasper. 

‘I … I did?’ says Bellamy, surprised. _I didn’t even count them_ , he thinks. 

‘Yeah you did,’ says Monty with a nod. ‘Last year’s team was freakin’ incredible. It’s a shame you didn’t win the final but I totally don’t blame you guys. You played a kickass game given the circumstances.’ 

Bellamy feels a rush of gratitude towards the boy. He’s had plenty of people pat him on the back and say ‘It’s okay you guys didn’t win.’ But it’s made him progressively madder because a grand total of five people have actually mentioned that they played a pretty fantastic game of soccer that night, sans the final ten minutes. 

‘And we’ll totally win this year!’ says Jasper confidently, a goofy grin breaking out on his face, all teeth and sparkling eyes. ‘Or at least, the _team_ will. _We_ will if we get in.’ 

‘Oh, you guys will get in,’ says Bellamy assuringly. ‘I haven’t seen two freshmen meld into the team so effortlessly _ever._ You guys are in for sure.’ 

‘Seriously?’ says Monty excitedly, slapping Jasper on the arm. 

‘Oh my God, this is the best day of my life!’ beams Jasper. 

A yell from the field quietens all three of them and they turn to see what’s going on. The girls are still practicing, just wrapping up a game with the final four girls they’ve narrowed it down to divided into teams alongside a few older team members. Bellamy’s eyes easily find Octavia in the organised chaos of the game, noticing she’s not wearing a bib and determining she’s playing alongside Clarke, Lexa, Harper and a girl named Luna who’s also trying out for the first time this year, despite being a junior. 

‘Damn, who’s that?’ says Jasper with a whistle. ‘I’ve never seen a chick with such great ball skills before in my life.’ 

Monty snorts with laughter and even Bellamy cracks a smile before Jasper realises what he’d said and goes bright red. 

‘I didn’t mean it like that!’ he whines but Bellamy just pats his shoulder with a laugh. 

‘Seriously though, he’s right,’ admits Monty. ‘Who is that? She just cleared two defenders without batting an eyelid.’ 

Bellamy’s gaze snaps back to the field and he realises with a start that _oh my God, it’s Octavia._ Her team’s on offense and they’re closing into the goal fast, the ball flitting between all five of them easily until they get to the blockade of defenders a few feet in front of the penalty box. Octavia scans the surroundings ahead before spinning around the defender in front of her — Niylah — and skilfully taking the ball with her in a move Bellamy remembers teaching her when she was ten.

Jasper and Monty hoot appreciatively. Bellamy glances to his right to see the boys team plus all the male tryouts have crowded by the bench to watch the end of the girls’ game. 

‘Oh hell,’ says Wells from behind him, gulping down water. ‘Look. Raven’s decided to take her — your sister’s good but I dunno if she’s good enough to get past Raven.’ 

Nervousness twinges in Bellamy’s chest as he watches Raven inch closer towards Octavia, her eyes more interested in what’s happening with the younger girl’s feet, and Bellamy knows Raven will predict any move his sister makes. _Fuck._

‘Octavia!’ a voice calls and Bellamy sees Octavia’s gaze flicker to Clarke who’s jogging by her right, until now carefully watching Octavia’s playing. Bellamy’s eyes catch Clarke gesturing between herself and Octavia with her index finger, just by her thigh, moving it twice and just subtle enough for only Octavia to see. It’s a gesture that Bellamy recognises: _give it to me, I’ll pass it back._

Octavia reacts instantly and Bellamy doesn’t even see her pass it’s so quick, and suddenly, the ball is at Clarke’s feet. A feral smile crosses her lips and he sees Raven’s expression flicker in surprise. 

‘Damn it Griffin,’ she says with a chuckle. ‘You know I hate knocking you down.’

Clarke smirks. 

‘Couldn’t let her have all the fun,’ she says with a shrug, ‘and I would _love_ to see you try, Reyes.’ 

She dives in without hesitation, keeping the ball close and holding no punches, launching straight into a brutal tackle with Raven. The two are familiar both on and off the field and definitely aren’t afraid to go all out with each other but Bellamy knows without doubt that Clarke’s going to come out on top this time — she dove in knowing exactly what she was going to do. The outside of her lower arm meets Raven’s chest and she gives the ball a fierce kick just as she pushes off the taller girl’s strong frame and uses the momentum to dart away. The ball flies through Raven’s legs and is stopped by Octavia’s waiting boot on the other side which immediately launches it forward in a powerful kick towards the goal. The goal keep, Indra, having been expecting Clarke to be the one to shoot, had been hovering on the right side of the goal and jumps for the ball too late to stop it from soaring into the left corner of the net, brushing the goal post with a loud _whoosh_ before thumping to the ground. 

Raven’s ‘What the _fuck_ just happened?’ is so loud that Bellamy can hear it from the bench, but anything else is drowned out by the boys’ team’s impressed cheers (Monty and Jasper’s louder than anyone’s). Bellamy watches Clarke punch her first into the air with a crow of triumph before pulling Octavia into a breathless, sweaty hug, and the beam that graces Octavia’s face is more overjoyed than Bellamy has seen her since before their mother died. The pride inside him is swelling so rapidly, he thinks his heart might burst. 

When the girls make their way back to the bench, Bellamy can’t restrain himself from scooping Octavia up in a tight hug and twirling her around on the spot as she squeals with surprise. He knows the official teams aren’t posted until tomorrow evening but there’s no way Octavia’s won’t get on (he hopes — if she doesn’t, he’s prepared to quit the boys team to prove a point.) But any doubts he has vanish when, as the two teams plus their possible newbies walk back towards campus, Clarke falls into step with him and elbows him lightly. 

‘Buck up Blake,’ she says with a smirk. ‘Better work on your game otherwise your sister’s gonna be a bigger star than you are.’ 

Octavia flushes with a mixture of pride and embarrassment.

_Honestly,_ Bellamy thinks as he hugs his sister to his side, _I wouldn’t care if she was._

It’s only when Octavia squeezes him back and Clarke stares at him in surprise with a tender look in her eyes that he realises he said it out loud, but at the smile Clarke gives him before hurrying off to join Raven and Lexa, he can’t bring himself to care. 


	4. secrets (or lack thereof)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke shakes her head, grabbing her drink and gulping down a good few mouthfuls. She has no idea what her mind is up to tonight — having deep and meaningful conversations with Bellamy, admiring his admittedly good looks? — but she is most certainly not drunk enough to deal with it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is probably so much multishipping going on in this chapter, I apologise profusely because that season finale was everything my multishipping heart could ever want in the entire universe.  
> (I also apologise profusely for how long it took for me to post this, I've been super busy at work and organising travel stuff!) 
> 
> Anyway, I feel like I should up the rating cos of language and add in underage drinking as a tag but idk, I feel like the language isn't that bad? idk? and also it's just foreign for me cos I live in a country where 18 is the drinking age so not being able to drink at college sounds so strange ahaha ANYWAY lemme know what you guys think, if you're alg with like ratings and stuff as they are now, tell me X

 The final team lists are posted the following evening but come 5pm on Friday, Clarke finds herself sitting cross legged on her bed, flicking through her last year’s notes in an attempt to jog her memory for a start of semester quiz she has first thing Monday morning. She’s not too worried about the team lists — she knows she holds too much importance on the team to be bumped down to a second stringer, despite how self righteous that sounds. And although she’s curious about which newbies made the cut, she’s confident her predictions will be correct. There’s no way in hell Octavia Blake wouldn’t make it with the goal she scored, and Clarke’s eye had also been caught by a girl named Charlotte, also a freshman, who’d played shy but clever soccer that Clarke hadn’t seen in a while. 

By the time the clock ticks round to 5:15, physics theorems, chemistry formulas and biological processes have stopped making any kind of sense and Clarke can’t keep her curiosity at bay, whipping out her phone and firing out a text to Raven. 

 

**_5:15pm  
Me:_ **

_rae, who got on?!! how’s our season looking? X_

**_5:16pm  
Raven:_ **

_ok dude holy shit we are gonna kill it_

_like for real_

_we are gonna kick mt weather’s ass so good I'm so ready_

 

Clarke snorts with laughter, her gaze falling onto her still open notepads and text books, pages coffee stained and littered with her untidy scrawl of explanations on various terms and concepts. Some pieces of paper are faded from exposure to sunlight, some have splattered specks of mud on them from days spent studying in between soccer practices, others have smudged ink from water spills but Clarke manages to crack a smile, feeling the pride build in her chest at how hard she’d worked to make first year pre med _and_ soccer fit. She decides quickly that she’s done studying for the night — hell, she’s read over her notes four times already.

It’s the start of the soccer season and the entirety of AU is soccer obsessed, which means _someone_ will be throwing a huge party to celebrate and both the girls and boys teams are always the guests of honour. She’s been back at college a week and Clarke has only gone to one start of semester party, which, given that she’s not only had a summer from the depths of hell _and_ going to have a year filled with insanity and stress, she feels is definitely not enough to get her pumped for everything that’s to come.

Her phone lights up again, screen flashing with Raven’s name in indication of another new message. Clarke taps the plastic lightly, this time laughing out loud at her friend. 

 

**_5:18pm  
Raven:_ **

_oh and ur lame ass got on again btw_

**_5:18pm  
You:_ **

_glad you appreciate my place on the team so much_

_d’you have details on the start of season party?_

**_5:19pm  
Raven:_ **

_is the pope catholic?_

_ofc_

_engineering senior kyle wick is hosting it this year, starts @ 9_

**_5:19pm  
You:_ **

_you mean the same engineering senior kyle wick that you banged after the finncident?_

**_5:19pm  
Raven:_ **

_yes_

_don’t judge me griffin_

**_5:20pm  
You:_ **

_i’m not i promise xxx_

_where does he live?_

**_5:20pm  
Raven:_ **

_on campus apartment, i texted lex the address a couple hours ago so walk over with her, i’m helping wick out as unofficial bartender bc the useless sack doesn’t know how to make good drinks_

_ALSO make sure superstar lil blake comes as well, i want to congratulate her on scoring past me with tequila shots_

**_5:20pm  
You:_ **

_raven she’s barely 18_

_plus bellamy will be there, will he even let her drink?_

**_5:21pm  
Raven:_ **

_something tells me that he couldn’t stop her even if he tried._

 

Clarke gets more of an explanation of the team’s standings from Lexa — 

 

**_6:03pm  
Lexa:_ **

_Ok so everyone from last year is technically on the team and Indra, obviously, is captain although we all totally knew that was going to happen._

_Octavia Blake, Charlotte Fairfield and Fox Pierce are the only three freshmen to make the cut_

_And_

**_6:04  
You:_ **

_wait wait wait but there’s only two places available on the team!_

**_6:04  
Lexa:_ **

_There are, there are only two places available in first string. Octavia made it to first while Fox and Charlotte are second, they’ll only play in emergencies or if they become good enough to be used as substitutes every once in a while during the season._

_Meanwhile, Roma’s been bumped down to second string as well, and Luna, that junior trying out, has taken her place! Kane’s also got a girl named Costia who’s in our year as one of the starting line up, she and Luna are left and right wing._

_Basically starting line up, at least for now, is you, me, Rae, Octavia, Indra, Anya, Harper, Monroe, Niylah, Luna and Costia._

_Gina, Maya and Ontari stayed on the team too, just not starting._

**_6:06  
You:_ **

_you’re much more helpful than raven who basically just said we’re going to own mt weather and proceeded to mock my importance on the team_

_btw pick me up at 9:30 for wick’s party? we can go get octavia on our way there_

**_6:07  
Lexa:_ **

_Well Raven’s got one thing right, we’re definitely owning MW this year_

_And yup you got it_

_Raven is gonna get us so drunk isn’t she?_

**_6:07  
You:_ **

_most definitely._

 

* * *

 

 

By the time 9:30 rolls around, Clarke has managed to throw together an impromptu outfit from the bottom of her suitcase, which she still hasn’t properly unpacked. Donning a tight fitted, mid thigh length grey skirt and a semi transparent white top that makes her boobs look fantastic and kind of shows her favourite black lacy bra, she’s just putting the final touches on her makeup when Lexa peeks through the doorway with a soft knock and a wide grin. Her hair is bundled up in a messy bun on the top of her head, two loose strands framing the side of her face. Her makeup is light but the white and blue playsuit she’s wearing make her blue eyes shine and Clarke glances down at her own clothes with a second of contemplation before deciding that she can’t be bothered changing outfits anyway.

‘Ready to go?’ asks Lexa. 

‘Almost,’ promises Clarke, applying a final coat of lipstick before surveying her reflection in the mirror. ‘ _Ugh_ look at my _hair_! I don’t know what to do with it, it’s been a mess all day.’ 

Lexa rolls her eyes, slipping into the room and shutting the door behind her. ‘Sit down loser,’ she says, nudging Clarke gently. 

Clarke would protest but the party’s probably already going in full force and she doesn’t want to miss anymore of it by arguing, instead just pulling up a stool and plonking down on it as Lexa gathers up her thick, blonde curls and starts braiding them. 

‘This is weird,’ says Clarke, furrowing her eyebrows. ‘This _should_ be weird.’ 

‘Me braiding your hair?’ says Lexa uncertainly. 

‘No! Well, yes. I mean _us._ This. We literally broke up less than six months ago and you’re … well, braiding my hair, yeah.’ 

Lexa’s hands slow a little and in the mirror, Clarke catches the thoughtful expression that crosses her face. 

‘Do you want it to be weird?’ she asks after a few moments silence. 

‘No,’ says Clarke quietly. ‘You’re one of my best friends. Over the summer, it felt like you and Raven were all that I had, especially when Mom shut down.’ 

‘And that’s why it’s _not_ weird,’ Lexa says, her voice soft. ‘Everything could have spiralled in a very different direction between us but the minute Kane told us the news at Mt Weather last season, I knew that none of it mattered anymore.’ She sucks in a sharp breath, tucking a strand of Clarke’s hair into the braid and letting her fingers work thoughtlessly before speaking again. ‘When I first met you, I knew that I’d never meet anyone quite like you again and when we broke up — ’ Her breath hitches for a moment and Clarke’s eyes snap up to meet hers in the mirror. ‘ — when we broke up I was so scared that it would be near apocalyptic for us both.’ 

Clarke cracks a smile. She remembers thinking the same thing. 

‘I wish it had been under different circumstances,’ Lexa continues, ‘but I’m glad things worked out the way they did. Having someone know me the way you do, understand me … I wouldn’t trade that for anything.’ Her fingers still from their work and she reaches around Clarke to grab a hair tie from the dressing table, carefully looping it around the intricate braid before settling her hands on Clarke’s shoulders and giving them a gentle squeeze. ‘Ready?’ 

Clarke beams. ‘Hell yeah.’ 

They swing past Octavia’s dorm and her pick her up on their way to Wick’s, both whistling in admiration at her black and white dress, the bottom half of which hugs her curves while the top is billowy and loose, making Octavia look tall and _gorgeous._ The three of them laugh and compliment each other the entire way there, looping their arms together and tripping slightly in the height of their heels, listening to them _clack_ across the concrete footpath that leads to the independent living section of campus. Wick’s apartment is on the third floor of Alpha building, and the three girls easily locate it from the music booming through the walls and the gradually growing crowds they run into with every hallway. 

The apartment is already packed with people. Clarke notices Raven behind the kitchen bench (currently being used as a bar), seemingly effortlessly mixing drinks and sliding them over to people. 

‘Wait a few years and you’d be a hell of a bartender,’ Clarke compliments her best friend, leaning against the bench and smirking. 

‘Don’t you know it,’ says Raven with a wink. 

‘I’d hate to think you were spending this night dishing out drinks without having any yourself,’ Lexa teases, to which Raven holds up a nearly finished mojito from her side of the bench. 

‘Oh hey — little Blake is here!’ she exclaims, grinning widely. ‘Get your cute ass over here so we can drink to you _killing it_ at tryouts yesterday!’ 

‘You getting my underage sister drunk, Reyes?’ says Bellamy, appearing out of nowhere nursing a glass of what looks like whiskey. He’s wearing his thick framed glasses that Clarke knows he replaces with contacts during soccer and she can’t help but admire the smattering of freckles across his face that are startlingly visible in the light of Wick’s apartment. 

‘You’re not her dad Bellamy, don’t be a spoil sport,’ Raven fires back, lining up a row of shot glasses and starting to fill them with tequila. 

‘But she _is_ underage,’ Bellamy says, ‘and I _am_ her legal guardian.’ 

‘What?’ says Clarke before she can stop herself, eyebrows darting up in surprise. 

‘You’re kidding?’ says Raven, jaw dropping. 

‘Unfortunately not,’ says Octavia, glaring at her brother. ‘Come on Bell, _please_! It’s not like I’m gonna get trashed and don’t you think I deserve to celebrate?’ 

‘She really does,’ says Lexa with a nod. ‘Only freshman to make first string in our team.’ 

Bellamy takes a gulp of his whiskey before sighing exaggeratedly and saying ‘ _Fiiiiine_.’ 

‘Yes!’ says Octavia, punching the air with her first as Raven pushes five shots towards her. 

‘But only because you can hold your alcohol better than anyone I’ve ever met,’ Bellamy grumbles.

‘Stop pouting Blake, we all know you’re happy for her,’ says Clarke, snorting with laughter at the expression on his face when she pats his arm. 

‘Drink up,’ orders Raven with a nod. ‘One shot for every defender you cleared.’ 

Octavia stares, eyes wide, hands gripping the bench as she lets out a bubbly laugh, saying ‘ _Fuck_ , I love college!’ before downing the first shot without warning. 

‘What can I get you Griffin?’ asks Raven, slurping up the last of her mojito. 

‘You know what I like,’ says Clarke, shrugging. ‘Surprise me.’ 

‘You got it babe,’ smiles Raven, the soft smile that’s usually hidden behind her sharp, snarky, sarcastic exterior, the one that Clarke sees more than anybody else. She’s learned not to comment or tease Raven about it anymore — Raven doesn’t show her feelings through words, Clarke’s learned, but as soon as you get to know her, it’s easy to single out the people she values most. 

‘So you’re Octavia’s legal guardian?’ Clarke asks Bellamy, sliding onto a barstool in front of the kitchen bench as she waits for Raven to concoct her drink. Lexa and Octavia have already thrown themselves into the vibrant crowd, humming with energy and life, but Clarke feels entirely too sober to start dancing yet. Why she’s having a conversation with _Bellamy_ of all people defeats her but she figures he’s here, and even when they’re arguing, he’s a very interesting person to talk to. 

Bellamy nods at her question, sitting down beside her and carefully placing his drink in front of him. 

‘Our mom died a couple of months after I turned eighteen,’ he explains, ‘which I guess was lucky because we don’t really have any other family so god knows where O would’ve gone if I’d been a minor. Our dads both took off before either of us were born.’ 

Clarke doesn’t bring up the fact that they have different dads. From what she can see, whether they’re half siblings or not, Octavia and Bellamy are closer than any other brother and sister she’s ever met. 

‘How’d you manage?’ she asks, quickly adding, ‘if it’s okay for me to ask — ’

Bellamy waves her off. ‘It’s fine, it’s fine. Mom had left us some money in the bank that she’d been saving since we were both born. It wasn’t a whole lot but it was enough to get us by while we both still had to go to school. I got a job as well, which was kinda rough cos I had soccer too.’ He grimaces. ‘There were a lot of late nights and microwave meals but I worked hard enough to get into AU on full scholarship which made things a lot easier. With the money Mom left us and the money I was earning from my job, we managed to have enough to move here to Arkadia the summer before my freshman year. O was okay with switching to Arkadia High, thankfully, and she finished out her last few years at high school there before also getting into AU on a partial scholarship. She got a job once we moved here as well so things aren’t so tight anymore.’He catches sight of Clarke staring at him, slack jawed and eyes wide and he laughs a little. ‘Humans are pretty amazing at making things work even in the worst of situations,’ he says wisely with a little shrug. 

Clarke just shakes her head. ‘Jesus, Bellamy. I guess — I dunno, I never realised I knew so little about you.’ 

‘We don’t exactly make a habit of having heart to hearts, Griffin,’ smirks Bellamy and Clarke glares at him. 

‘Sorry to interrupt,’ says Raven, not sounding sorry in the slightest, ‘but I feel like if you’re going to have a famous Blake-Griffin argument, Clarke should at least have some alcohol in her system. Drink up babe.’ She pushes a bright pink drink in a tall glass in Clarke’s direction, at which Bellamy snorts loudly and wrinkles his nose in disgust. 

‘What the _fuck_ is that?’ he demands, looking horrified. 

‘Raspberry lemonade and vodka,’ says Clarke after a discovery slurp. She sees the expression on Bellamy’s face and scowls. ‘Don’t judge!’ she says defensively. ‘What are you, forty? Look at you drinking fucking _scotch._ ’ 

‘At least it’s good alcohol!’ Bellamy retorts. ‘That shit looks like it could kill you from sugar content alone.’ 

Raven bursts into laughter when Clarke grumbles ‘Maybe you should have some then,’ under her breath, disgruntled. 

‘Hey Reyes!’ calls Wick from across the room, standing on the couch so Raven can see him over the crowd of people. ‘Can you pour like — I dunno, maybe um — fourteen tequila shots? We’ve got most of the two teams over here and Anya swears she can out-drink Miller who refuses to concede!’ 

‘I’m not doing jack unless you’re paying me, I’ve been your damn bartender the whole evening!’ says Raven feistily, crossing her arms. ‘Eat my ass.’

‘Been there, done that,’ says Wick, waggling his eyebrows. 

Clarke gags and Bellamy chokes on his drink. 

‘Oh fuck you,’ Raven barks. 

‘You’ve done that too — ’

‘ _Wick_!’ 

‘Okay, okay, how about we say I’ll owe you one?’ 

Raven smirks. ‘Now we’re talking.’

‘It freaks me out how well you two get along with your exes,’ muses Bellamy, eyes darting between her and Clarke. 

Clarke says ‘Just because we’re civilised people.’ at the same time as Lexa laughs ‘Yeah, like you can talk Blake.’, appearing suddenly from the crowd of people.

Bellamy ignores Clarke’s comment and rounds on Lexa. ‘What’s that supposed to mean?’ 

‘Yeah, what’s that supposed to mean?’ echoes Octavia, also making a sudden reappearance to the conversation and taking a seat beside Clarke. 

(Clarke’s impressed at how sober she still seems, despite having done five tequila shots and having an almost empty bottle of rum and coke in her hand. Bellamy was right, she really could hold her alcohol.) 

‘Why do you have to be here for this conversation?’ groans Bellamy, letting his head drop to the bench in front of him. Octavia flips him off and pokes Lexa with her foot as a prompt to continue. 

‘You and Raven get on like a house on fire,’ provides Lexa. ‘Don’t judge us for still being friends with our exes!’ 

‘Raven isn’t actually my _ex_!’ argues Bellamy. 

‘Yeah, we just slept together,’ agrees Raven, grabbing the tequila from the cupboard behind her. ‘It’s the same deal as me and Wick — it was a Finn rebound.’ She pats Bellamy’s arm with a wink. ‘A _great_ rebound though, let it be noted.’ 

‘Back atcha Reyes,’ Bellamy chuckles, downing the rest of his whiskey. Clarke can’t help but notice the way the corners of his eyes crinkle when he smiles, way his Adam’s apple bobs as he swallows, the way his freckles are caught in the light when he shifts his head as he laughs. 

She shakes her head, grabbing her drink and gulping down a good few mouthfuls. She has no idea what her mind is up to tonight— having deep and meaningful conversations with Bellamy, admiring his admittedly good looks? — but she is most certainly not drunk enough to deal with it.

‘Oh that’s disgusting,’ says Octavia in response to Bellamy and Raven’s back and forth, scrunching up her nose. ‘Please, let’s stop talking about my brother’s love life.’ 

‘Yes, let’s,’ mutters Bellamy. 

‘Octavia,’ says Raven seriously, a wicked grin on her face, ‘if you think that not talking about it is going to stop you from knowing, you’re extremely wrong. First unofficial rule of AU NSCL soccer: nobody has _any_ secrets. Ever. When you spend almost every waking minute with people over the course of almost an entire school year, you end up knowing them better than you know yourself.’ 

‘You’re gonna learn everything you ever wanted to learn about everyone on these teams,’ says Lexa with a nod. ‘And everything you _didn’t_ too.’ 

Octavia’s eyes flicker between the other four, as if studying them for any sign of them taking the Mickey out of her, but when she manages to decide that they’re being a hundred percent serious, a fierce gleam lights up her eyes and a wide grin crosses her face. 

‘Oh, this is season is gonna be _good._ ’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please comment, it gives me so much motivation! kudos and hits are wonderful too (but obvs comments are cherry on the cake, they just make me smile!)


	5. comrades

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Her eyebrows furrow and her teeth start worrying her bottom lip, and Bellamy can’t help but think how she looks kinda cute like that before he his mind catches up and he has to stop himself from saying 'what the actual fuck?' out loud.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahhhh guys I'm so sorry I haven't updated in a while, life's been crazy! I'm going overseas in four days and there's so much to do (I'm freaking out majorly freaking out trust me) and I apologise in advance for the shortness of this chapter, hopefully I can get some writing done on my long plane rides!! Hope you're all doing well X

As it always does, the first few weeks back at AU fly past very quickly and eventfully. Nothing much changes from the way the start of semester has been for Bellamy in past years, except for three notable exceptions — 

Firstly, Jackson names him team captain, meaning later practices, more one-on-ones, a bigger load of responsibility and a greater portion of Bellamy’s day is devoted to thinking about soccer. 

Secondly, Octavia’s _here_ , which means they’ve been able to finally move out of the house they’d been living in (aka, move away from their absolute asshole of a landlord). Bellamy’s popped into her dorm a few times and is relieved to find her room a million times warmer and nicer than the one she’d squeezed into for the last three years. 

Mostly, he sees her in the evenings. He and Miller, like Wick, live in an independent living apartment on campus with two bedrooms, a bathroom, living room and kitchen, and Octavia spends most of her time there (as do a large percentage of both the girls’ and boys’ teams). It’s nice, being able to look across the room and see is little sister curled up on the couch with her text books, digging into his _supposed to be_ secret stash of gummy bears and giggling at something in the girls’ team’s group chat. 

And thirdly, Bellamy finds himself spending a startling amount of time with Clarke Griffin. 

Clarke and Octavia become fast friends, and Octavia is subsequently adopted into Clarke, Raven and Lexa’s tight knit group. At first, Bellamy was nervous because he _knows_ how fierce the three sophomores are, and he also knows that despite his better nature, he’s kept Octavia pretty damn sheltered her whole life just for his own peace of mind. But it takes all of a week for him to see the strong, feisty side of Octavia emerge, the side that part of him always knew was there. 

By the time the first month at AU has ticked by, Bellamy’s stopped being surprised at coming home to find at least one of Octavia’s three best friends sprawled on his couch, even if his sister isn’t there. His and Miller’s apartment has almost become the unofficial AU soccer headquarters. 

It’s a Saturday afternoon when he trudges into the living room, dropping his keys to the tray by the door and tossing his jacket tiredly to the ground. He’d partied _way_ too hard the previous night _and_ had a French assignment due Monday, hence having spent the morning from eight a.m. til now at the library, attempting (and failing) to get it done. His mouth is dry, eyelids drooping and his feet feel heavy as he tries to move them across the wooden floor. He manages to drag himself over to the couch where he dumps his text books and flops down with an exhausted groan. 

‘Bellamy?’ 

He opens one eye, squinting and noticing the flash of blonde leaning over the back of the couch. 

‘What’re you doing here Princess?’ he asks gruffly, letting his arm fall over his face. 

‘Trying to find my soccer boots,’ she answers promptly. ‘I left them here after practice on Thursday. Have you seen them?’ 

‘Miller probably put them in the laundry room to keep the mud off the floors.’ 

‘Neat freak.’ 

‘You’re telling me, I have to live with the guy.’ 

He hears her snort with laughter before the padding of her footsteps grows fainter as she walks down the hallway. 

‘How’re you guys going in the pre-league tournament?’ he calls, figuring he might as well make conversation while she’s here. 

‘Good so far!’ she returns. ‘Ooh, wait — _a-ha_! Got ‘em! Hang on, lemme come back so we’re not shouting across the apartment at each other.’ There’s a pause and the shuffle of footsteps before she speaks again, this time sounding like she’s sitting in the armchair beside him. ‘You look exhausted. You do know you have a game tonight?’ 

‘Yes, I know,’ growls Bellamy, dread crawling through him from the pit of his stomach. 

‘You really shouldn’t have gone to Wick’s last night.’ 

‘Shut up.’ 

‘Shut up? Really? That’s _weak_ Blake.’ 

‘If you’re not going to be fucking helpful, you can leave. This _is_ my apartment, not the soccer department’s personal playpen so I would appreciate it if you’d stop waltzing in here like you own the place, though I’m sure that not having things handed to you is a foreign concept in your world.’ He regrets his words the minute they leave his mouth, inwardly scolding himself and waiting for her backlash. He learnt pretty early on that her family’s wealth is a sore spot for Clarke, which made for very good ammunition in their arguments. Now, however, he’s not really in the mood for a fight with her, but he certainly doesn’t feel like wallowing alone in his apartment for another two and a half hours.

She huffs irritably and he hears her get to her feet, purposefully letting her boots bang against his leg as she strides past the couch. ‘Well I _was_ going to make you some coffee and a sandwich so that you wouldn’t collapse or fall asleep halfway through your game but if you’re going to be like that — ’

Bellamy blinks, shifting his arm in his surprise at her words. She was going to _what?_

‘Wait, wait wait — ’ he tries to say, still confused. 

He sits up, swearing under his breath when she doesn’t slow down, instead shoving her feet into her shoes and pulling on her sweatshirt. 

‘Hey, Princess!’ 

She ignores him. 

‘Griffin, would you just — ’

She snatches up her keys from beside his, steals a glance at her reflection in the mirror by the doorway and storms over to the door to fling it open. Bellamy isn’t even aware that he’s scrambled over the couch and jogged towards her until he’s reaching out and grabbing her arm, spinning her to face him. 

‘Clarke, _wait_ ,’ he says, a little breathless. ‘Look, I’m sorry okay? I’ve had a shitty day, I didn’t mean to snap at you.’

‘Does it look like I care?’ she shoots back haughtily, narrowing her eyes as she glares at him. 

Bellamy bites back a retort of his own, squeezing his eyes shut and pinching the bridge of his nose. He lets go of her arm, fiercely hoping she doesn’t push him away and leave. 

She doesn’t. 

‘You were gonna make me coffee and a sandwich?’ he decides on asking, knowing better than trying to convince her of the sincerity of his apology. 

He doesn’t call her out on the flush on her cheeks when she mumbles ‘You shouldn’t play on an empty stomach or when you’re too tired.’,instead stepping back to get out of her space and slipping his hands into his jeans pockets, gazing at her with a small smile on his face. 

‘Yeah, I know that,’ he says, trying not to sound patronising or teasing. ‘Been playing since I was ten.’ 

To his relief, she cracks a half grimace, half smile too, ducking her head down as a soft chuckle slips past her lips. She scrubs her face with the back of her hand and leans against the door. 

‘My therapist says I’ve been projecting everything _I_ need to remember to do for myself on everyone around me,’ she mutters, playing with her keys absentmindedly. 

‘You’re seeing a therapist?’ Bellamy says before he can stop himself. 

Her eyes flicker up and there’s a hesitant expression that crosses her face. 

‘I’m — I’m not judging,’ says Bellamy quickly. ‘I just didn’t realise.’ 

There’s another moment of reluctance, and then she nods. ‘Yeah, Mom insisted. She said that if I wasn’t going to talk to her about … _everything_ … then she needed to know I was talking to someone. Mostly I just rant and I’m pretty sure he’s only pretending to listen half the time.’ She shrugs. ‘It’s good. It’s all the stuff I can’t say to anyone else because they’ll start walking on eggshells around me.’ 

Her eyebrows furrow and her teeth start worrying her bottom lip, and Bellamy can’t help but think how she looks kinda cute like that before he his mind catches up and he has to stop himself from saying _what the actual fuck?_ out loud. 

‘Why am I telling you this?’ she says suddenly. 

Bellamy laughs. ‘I dunno. Cos I’m here? Or maybe it’s easier to be around someone you don’t actually like right now.’ 

‘Oh God, now _you_ sound like my therapist.’ 

‘Okay, well that’s just insulting.’ He grins at the upward curl of the corners of her mouth and he nods towards the kitchen. ‘Come on Princess. How about that coffee?’ 

**Author's Note:**

> Let it be stated here that I know a whole lotta nothin about soccer from age 10+ because that's when I quit so I'm making this up as i go by watching lots of usnwt games and bombarding all my soccer friends with lots of questions (so if u wanna by any chance help me out with that, I'd be ever so grateful!) 
> 
> pls leave comments/kudos, I posted this on tumblr but it didn't spread very far so I'm hoping it's well received on here!


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